


Runaway

by bethanyisinjail



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, James Potter is a Good Friend, Regulus Black Deserves Better, Regulus Black-centric, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, a lot of it, he's trying, it's split with sirius, its walburga black of course there is, like once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:21:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27952238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bethanyisinjail/pseuds/bethanyisinjail
Summary: Sirius can't live at 12 Grimmauld Place for a moment longer. Between his mother's abuse and their abysmal beliefs, he needs out. And this argument pushes him over the edge.And Regulus gets to watch as his final ounce of hope descends down the stairs."“Do not lay a hand on your brother, he does not need your ridiculous ideas in his head!”Sirius steps back and gives Regulus a sad smile, “I love you, Reg.”Regulus can’t say it. Not after this."
Relationships: Regulus Black & Narcissa Black Malfoy, Remus Lupin & James Potter, Sirius Black & Andromeda Black Tonks, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 81





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i love regulus black so here's him in pain for 8 chapters straight. writing him just comes with free angst there's nothing i can do about it
> 
> tw for child abuse. it's not horrible in this one but it's there, might as well be safe!

Regulus can’t pay attention to any of the French work his mother gave him, not when all he can hear was the screaming match at the bottom of the stairs. His mother and his brother have been arguing for a half-hour, and it would be a lie if he said this argument was the same as the last 7 this summer. 

He hears something smash and immediately sits up, slowly getting up from his chair at his desk. He moves closer to the door and creeks it open, not needing to strain to hear what is going on.

“I don’t care what that was!” Sirius yells, “Seems to me that you care more about a vase than you do your own son!”

“I will not care about someone who dares yell at me like that,” His mother seethes, “You’re no son of mine!”

“Oh, I fucking wish I wasn’t!” Sirius mockingly laughs, “What’re you going to do, stab me with that?! Stabbing your son with the piece of a vase, really regal.”

Regulus goes to take a step out of the room, although the creek of the floorboard scares him back into his room.

“Don’t you use that language with me!” She yells, “You’re lucky I even let you worthless piece of shit stay here!” 

“You think I want to live here?! I would- Ah!” Sirius exclaims, and Regulus knows he probably just got hit, and he wouldn’t be surprised if it was with a sharp piece of glass. 

“Let one more ungrateful word leave your mouth and you will be out of this house tonight!” She threatens, and it doesn’t sound like a boast. His mother doesn’t boast.

“You don’t have to kick me out,” Sirius says, “That’s enough of an offer for me. I’m done with all of this shit, I don’t care what tradition is! If this is what Black means then I’m not one!”

Panic rises in Regulus’ chest, and he prays Sirius is just making an empty threat. He hopes that his mother will just cast some careless charm on him and he’ll come back upstairs, tell Regulus he’ll see him tomorrow, and head off into his room. But that reality is shattered when he hears his mother start to yell.

“ _Cruci-_ ”

“ _Expelliarmus!_ ” Sirius cuts her off, and Regulus hears what is probably his mother’s wand fall onto the floor. Sirius says nothing and storms back up the stairs, his mother screaming threats up at him. Sirius slams the door to his room, not even noticing Regulus peaking out of his doorway.

Regulus feels like he’s choking. Sirius can’t be leaving, he _can’t_ be. He can’t seem to move himself out of the doorway, despite his own head screaming at him that he has to stop him. Because if Sirius leaves, Regulus has no one.

He can hear the slamming of a trunk lid before the door opens, and Sirius looks like he’s on fire, a decent sized cut still dripping blood on his face. He’s already bruising from their mother’s punishments. He goes to go back down the stairs, but Regulus manages to catch his attention.

“Sirius,” He croaks out, “No.”

“Reg,” Sirius drops his trunk and runs over, giving him a hug, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re really leaving,” Regulus marvels, tears beginning to track their way down his face, “You can’t leave.”

“I’m sorry, Reg.” Sirius is crying too, Regulus can hear it. “But I can’t stay. I can’t.”

“You promised you would,” Regulus whispers, “Now you’re going to leave me with her.”

Sirius doesn’t say anything, just holding him tighter.

“You lied to me, you lied!” Regulus tries to yell, but it doesn’t come out as more than a broken sob, “You’re just leaving.”

“I don’t want to, Regulus, I wish I could take you with me,” Sirius steps back so he can look him in the eye, “But you know I can’t.”

Regulus shakes his head, “It’s not about that, it’s about you leaving! Do you think about anyone but yourself?”

“Reg,” Sirius breathes. 

“You can’t leave me alone, please say you’re not leaving,” Regulus begs, wiping away tears with his sleeve only for them to be quickly replaced.

Sirius pulls him into a tight hug and holds the back of Regulus’ head as close it can be, as if when he let go Regulus would disappear. Although, he’s not the one who is disappearing. 

“I love you, Regulus,” He weakly whispers, “I love you so much, I’m so sorry. Keep yourself safe, ok? Mum will be mad, listen to what she tells you. You’ll be ok, I promise.”

Regulus just shakes his head, wanting to hold on forever. He grabs onto the back of his shirt, pointlessly hoping his mother will let Sirius stay. But that hope fizzles out within seconds.

“Sirius Orion Black, if you spend one more second in this house, I will make you regret every minute!” She yells, “Do not lay a hand on your brother, he does not need your ridiculous ideas in his head!” 

Sirius steps back and gives Regulus a sad smile, “I love you, Reg.”

Regulus can’t say it. Not after this. 

His mother yells again and Sirius just walks back to his trunk, dragging it to the stairs before looking back at Regulus and smiling through tears once more. He disappears down the stairs and he can hear his mother screaming once again, but he’s not listening to what she’s saying. He’s barely standing on his own feet, practically falling back into his room. He shuts the door and slides down the wall next to it, balling his knees to his chest.

He cries for what feels like hours, sitting next to the door, pathetically folded in on himself. He doesn’t hear his mother call his name the first two times.

“Regulus Arcturus Black!” She screams, his middle name catching his attention, “You listen to me get down here this instant!”

Regulus scrambles to his feet, desperately wiping his face in a feeble attempt to make it look like he wasn’t crying. It doesn’t work. 

He shakes it off as much as he can and heads down the stairs, seeing his mother scowling with her arms crossed in front of the stairs. Her face twists into disgust when she sees him.

“Don’t you _dare_ shed tears over him!” She wacks him up the side of his head before grabbing onto his hair and dragging him with her. They walk into a room, and even looking down at the floor he knows what she’s going to do. 

She’s burning him off the tree.

She shoves him to where she wants him to stand, pointing a finger at him and staring him dead in the eye. “You will watch,” She quietly commands, “And you won’t make a sound.”

Regulus nods and she walks off to where Sirius’ picture is on the wall.

“Your brother was _nothing_ but a dirty blood traitor,” She holds her wand in both hands, “And if you _ever_ turn out like _THAT_ ,” She flicks her wand back and Sirius is replaced with a charred black circle. Regulus jumps back at the sound but doesn’t dare say anything. 

“You will _not_ be running _anywhere_ ,” She threatens, “Clear?”

Regulus nods again, trying to not let his eyes wander back to the spot where his brother’s photo once was. 

“Now, after today’s small- fiasco,” His mother mockingly smiles at him, “Tomorrow, rather than leaving you alone, I’ll ask Narcissa to watch you while your father and I are out.”

He wants to say he doesn’t need a babysitter, considering he’s 14, but she wouldn’t listen to that. And, not to mention that maybe he needs someone who is _not_ his mother right now. So he just nods.

“You’ll be at dinner at 5 pm sharp,” She points out the door, “Up to your room, if I hear one sound you will not be getting dinner tonight, understand?” 

“Yes mother,” He replies weakly, heading swiftly out the door and back up to his room. 

He shuts the door and pulls himself over to sit in the chair at his desk, but he has no plan to conjugate more French words. 

He just feels sick to his stomach. 

***

Panting, Sirius finally walks up to the Potter’s front door. He’s exhausted, he’s dirty, he’s dripping wet, he’s freezing, and his face has just stopped bleeding. He just prays that they’ll let him stay.

He knocks on the door and hears some commotion from the inside, and what is unmistakably James’ voice getting closer to the door. 

The door opens and James’ face changes from a welcoming smile to shock, “Sirius?!”

“Hey,” He musters as much of a smile as he can, although its not much.

“Bloody hell, you look horrible! And it’s raining out, what’re you doing?” He pull him inside the door and shuts it, setting his trunk up against the wall before looking back and yelling, “Hey Mum, can you grab a towel please?”

“For what?” Mrs. Potter asks, coming around the corner from the kitchen and locking eyes with Sirius, “My goodness, Sirius dear, what happened? Don’t answer that, we’ll talk about it later, let me grab a towel for you dear.”

She heads up the stairs and Sirius looks back to James, who holds a hand out, “Let me take your jacket, it’s soaked and you’re shivering.” 

Sirius hands off his soaking wet jacket to James, who sets it on top of his trunk. Sirius doesn’t say anything, a fear that if he does he’ll break down on James’ welcome mat. 

His mother comes back down and wraps a towel around him, which is surprisingly warm. “Take your shoes off dear,” She tells him, to which he listens, “How about you get into some dry clothes, and I’ll make some tea, alright? We can talk over that.”

Sirius nods and looks over to his trunk, which is still soaking wet. He doesn’t want to get water everywhere, not after rudely intruding. James does it for him, though, tipping the trunk on its side and opening it.

“It’s just water, it’s fine,” James says, standing back up.

Sirius grabs the first pair of clothes he sees and shuts the lid, looking to James. He’s been to his house before, but he’d be damned if he knew where anything was. 

James wordlessly leads him to their bathroom, and the second Sirius shuts the door behind him his breathing hitches and he starts crying again. He cups a hand over his mouth to silence himself, careful not to scare James on the other side of the door. He looks in the mirror above the sink, surprised at how horrible he really _does_ look. Granted, he feels much the same.

He gets changed into something dry, a welcomed feeling after trudging through the rain for a couple of hours. He dries off his hair enough that it’s not dripping everywhere, opting to tie it back with the hair tie he happened to have on his wrist. He tries to shake off the horrible weight he feels like is sitting on his chest, swearing he won’t cry after he steps out of this room. He grabs his wet clothes and opens the door.

He walks out to see James leaning against the wall, who points behind him before he can even take more than one step out the door.

“Put your wet clothes over the sink, my mum can dry them later.”

Sirius turns around and lays his clothes over the sink, careful not to get water everywhere. Almost immediately after he sets them down, James grabs his hand, dragging him off into the kitchen. 

James’ mother is already sitting at the table, pouring sugar into the cup of tea in front of her. She looks up and smiles at him, gesturing to the cup across from her, “Come sit, dear.”

Sirius takes a hesitant seat in the chair across from her, James sitting next to the two of them. 

Sirius wraps his hands around the mug, happy to feel how warm it is. He keeps his eyes down, however, not wanting to look up at her. He knows she wouldn’t, but the adrenaline from his argument with _his_ mother wore off, and he’s terrified he’s about to be thrown out for a second time this afternoon.

“Sirius,” James says, drawing his attention up to look at him, “What happened?”

“I- I got kicked out,” He admits, “Well, I got in an argument with my mother, over- something. It got really bad, worse than normal. She threatened to kick me out, but decided I was done, I left regardless. I’m sure I would’ve been gone anyway.”

“My goodness,” James’ mother gasps, “She kicked you out? Her own son? That’s horrible!” 

Sirius shakes his head, “I’m not a son to her.” 

“Have you anywhere to go? Family or anything?” She asks. Fear strikes Sirius’ chest, this is the part where she kicks him out. 

“No,” He mumbles, “Nowhere.”

“You have to let him stay, Mum,” James pleads, “He’ll be homeless! He doesn’t have-”

“James dear, calm down,” She softly chides, “Sirius is not going anywhere, he is more than welcome to stay here,” She looks to Sirius, “If that’s alright with you dear, I’d much rather you stay here.”

Suddenly, the option makes him feel the need to double back. Sirius shakes his head, “You don’t have to, I don’t want to intrude or anything.”

“No no, I would love to have you stay,” She pauses a moment, seeing Sirius' hesitation, “Please, stay with us dear. It’s absolutely no issue.”

He stares at her in shock, surprised she _wants_ him to stay. He quickly shakes the expression off and smiles, nodding, “Thank you, Mrs. Potter.” He’s not going to cry. He’s not going to cry.

“Of course,” She smiles, “You’re always welcome here, Sirius.”

And he’s crying. 

“Come here sweetheart,” She stands up and beckons him over, wrapping him in the most motherly hug he’s probably ever gotten. 

He turns around to see James, smiling from ear to ear as he somehow always is. He throws his arms around Sirius in a huge bear hug. He almost knocks him over, but it’s more than welcomed. Sirius _really_ needed this.

“We’re stealing you, Sirius,” James says, causing Sirius to laugh, “Actually I think that’s more like kidnapping, right?”

“Aren’t they the same?” Sirius asks, his voice still hoarse. 

“Theoretically, I think they are,” James steps back and looks over at his mother, “Who gets to tell dad?”

Sirius only gets to panic for a second before Mrs. Potter speaks, “Well, first off, I don’t care what your father says. Second, I don’t think he minds.”

“He never cares about anything,” James laughs.

“He knows better,” She smiles before flicking her wand at both Sirius and James’ cups, “Come sit, finish your tea.”

They both take a seat at the table, and Sirius takes a sip of the tea in front of him. 

It takes about 30 seconds before James starts talking.

“Oh my god, so Remus sent me a letter the other day and the owl that brought it…” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REAL tw for child abuse this time. it's described in the nightmare sequence right at the beginning

_ “Where is your brother!?” His mother screams at Regulus, her voice echoing off of the faded walls.  _

_ “I don’t know,” Regulus whimpers out, “I don’t know where he is.” _

_ She shoves her wand at him and he screams out in pain, crumbling onto the floor. She pulls away her wand and he gasps for air, shaking his head. _

_ “I don’t know, mother, he left,” He repeats, “He’s gone mother, I don’t know.” _

_ Sirius pushes himself to take a step forward, unaware that he is not simply a spectator. The floorboard creaks under him and sends a chill up his spine. _

_ His mother spins around, her eyes practically on fire. She gives him a sly smile. He knows that smile. That smile never means anything good. _

_ “Sirius dear, look, you’re back,” She walks up slowly, “Crawling back to Mummy like you always do. Because you’re weak. You’re nothing.” _

_ “Shut up!” He screams, “I’m not nothing!” _

_ “Sirius-” His brother chokes out, but he’s cut off by his mother’s wand flicking backward. He screams out in pain again, curling further in on himself. _

_ The screaming stops and she moves to point her wand at him. “I do believe you’re next dear, wouldn’t you say?” She mockingly laughs, “You think simply running will save you? So foolish. So childish and foolish.”  _

_ She jabs her wand at him and his entire body feels as if it’s being ripped apart, stabbed by a million knives, and burnt by a thousand matches. His feet fall out from under him and he falls, the pain from the fall not nearly matching what the curse is doing to him.  _

_ The pain finally stops and he struggles for breath, his lungs feeling as if they were crushed. She grabs onto his collar before he can recover, pulling him up to look her in the eye. He can’t breathe. _

_ “Your blood taints the line of this family,” She hisses out, “You bring shame on this family, and you don’t dare spread it elsewhere! No one else will want you, and you’re trapped here. Because you aren’t running anywhere, Sirius dear.” _

_ She drops him and points her wand again, and writhes in pain again, begging for her to stop. It gets worse. And worse. And- _

Sirius shoots up, gasping for air he can’t seem to reach. Where is he? He doesn’t recognize the room. Or the bed. His head is too clouded to work anything out, and he desperately looks around for something to hold onto. 

Someone says something, in a voice he vaguely recognizes, but he doesn’t know who is talking. He panics.

Whoever it was sits on the bed in front of him, and he finally recognizes the face. James. He’s with James. 

“Sirius, Sirius,” James calls, “Sirius you’re alright, you’re in my room. You’re at our house, you’re safe.”

It takes a moment for it to click, and for him to recognize the room he’s in. 

“Breathe, Sirius,” James instructs, “Can I touch you?”

Sirius nods, needing  _ something _ to hold onto before he forgets where he is again. James pulls him into a hug, and Sirius grabs onto him for dear life. James doesn’t comment on it, simply holding Sirius just as tight.

“You’re ok, Pads,” James quietly consoles, “I’ve got you, you’re safe.”

“I’m sorry,” He forces out. He didn’t realize he had started crying until he’s full-on sobbing into James’ shoulder. 

“No no, you’re fine,” James assures him.

They sit there for what had to have been 10 minutes, although Sirius has no way to accurately tell the time. He also doesn’t know what horrible time of night he woke James up at. 

Finally, he sits back, James grabbing onto his hands. “What time is it?” He weakly asks. 

“Uhh, I’m not sure,” James squints at the clock on the wall, although he has no shot of seeing it in the dark and without his glasses, “I’m looking like I’m not blind. Eh, doesn’t matter.”

“I’m sorry for waking you up,” Sirius apologizes.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s no big deal,” James looks at him for a moment, “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“Just-” Sirius takes a breath, “A nightmare.”

“Bloody bad nightmare,” He comments, “You were talking in your sleep.”

“Shit, I was?” Sirius sighs and James nods. “Goddamnit, sorry.”

“No more apologizing,” James softly scolds, “Are you sure you don’t want to talk?” 

Sirius contemplates it a moment, too tired to make the logical choice of  _ not _ telling James about it.

“I was home. I watched my mother question Reg over where I was,” He swallows the lump in his throat, “She saw me. Tortured me, and told me I- Just, she said shitty things. It felt real, well, because it was, at some point, in some sense.”

“Tortured?” James questions, “I hope you’re not talking about what I think you are.”

“I am,” Sirius shakes his head, “But it wasn’t that. Regulus. I-I left Regulus.”

“Sirius,” James breathes, “It’s alright, he’ll be alright. I know you didn’t want to, but you didn’t have a choice.”

“I could have kept my mouth shut,” Sirius argues, “I caused it, I got myself kicked out.”

“Don’t think like that,” James shakes his head, “You didn’t do it, you didn’t pick to leave him.”

Sirius isn’t ready to tell James the story yet. It’s barely been a day, and he can’t resurface that memory of seeing Regulus so utterly destroyed.

His silence apparently speaks volumes, because James reads his mind, “We’ll talk about it later. It just happened, we don’t have to talk about it now.”

Sirius nods, “Thank you.”

“No need,” James smiles, “Are you going back to bed? It’s still early.”

“I don’t know,” Sirius glances back to his pillow, “Yeah, I don’t know. Don’t stay up for me, though.”

“Are you sure? I’m not that tired,” James lies, and even in the dark Sirius can see how tired he is.

“I’m sure, go back to bed, James,” Sirius urges him off the bed, and James begrudgingly walks back to his bed. He lays back down, James doing the same. 

“Goodnight, Padfoot, try and get some sleep,” James yawns, looking over at him.

“I’ll try. Night, Prongs,” Sirius replies, rolling to face away from James.

Sirius is absolutely exhausted, but he refuses to fall asleep. He wants to stay in the warm guest bed that they dragged into James’ room. He doesn’t want to go back to 12 Grimmauld Place. So he forces himself to stay awake. 

After a few minutes, he hears James’ groggy voice from across the room, “You’re not falling asleep, are you?”

“Why would I be?” Sirius replies.

James pauses a moment. “Want to come lay with me?” He excitedly asks. 

Sirius smiles, he knows he can’t reject that offer. Not to mention he also would like that, a good reminder James hasn’t left him.

Sirius gets up and heads over to James’ bed, climbing in and laying on top of him. James laughs and wraps his arms around him, absolutely beaming. 

“I bet Remus would be jealous,” James laughs.

“Probably,” Sirius lays his head on James’ chest, “Although it’s you, I don’t think he would be.”

“I think he got used to it in second year,” James laughs again, “We’re just very comfortable.”

“Mhm,” Sirius pulls himself closer, barely able to keep his eyes open, “Your heartbeat is much calmer than Remus’.”

“I’m also not bright red,” James comments, “We’re just not the same.”

“Nope,” Sirius smiles, “But you’ll do.”

“Awww so nice,” James softly laughs, “Goodnight for real, Pads.”

“Night for real, Prongs.”

***

“Regulus, downstairs this instant!” His mother screams, and Regulus straightens out his hair before running downstairs. 

He’s immediately met by the angry faces of both his mother and father, the former looking much angrier. She crosses her arms and stares at him a moment. 

“You will be on your best behavior as long as your cousin is here, is that clear?” She asks, to which he nods, “And you will not mention your brother’s God forsaken name, or you’ll go without dinner tonight as well, do you understand?”

“Yes, mother,” He says, face locked steady in the blank expression he’s perfected over years of family events. 

She’s cut off by a knock at the door, looking over for a moment before giving him a slap on the face and walking off. Regulus doesn’t react. He knows better. 

He moves back to stand a couple of feet away from his father, relieved as the door opens to reveal Narcissa standing on the other side, her hair dyed in the way he vividly remembers her getting chastised for at the last family dinner. Honestly, good for her. 

She shares a smile and a few words with his mother before she’s led in, his mother pointing at him and whispering something to her. She nods. 

“Hello Uncle Orion,” She greets, giving him a hug before stepping back and waving to Regulus. He doesn’t wave back, she doesn’t take it personally. 

“We’ll simply be gone for the day, we should be back by dinner,” His mother says, “Regulus has French work he should be finishing today, makes sure it gets done.”

“Of course,” Narcissa smiles, “It’s not an issue at all. I’ll be sure to inform you if anything happens, although I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Wonderful,” His mother beckons his father and they both walk towards the door, “Be good, Regulus.”

“I will,” He nods, watching as they bid Narcissa a final goodbye before walking out the door. 

She looks back to him and opens her arms, smiling, “Come here, Reg, I haven’t seen you in a while!”

Regulus practically runs into her hug, clearly surprising her for a moment before she hugs back. She runs a comforting hand through his hair, and for a moment it feels like Sirius. But he knows that’s not true.

“Are you alright?” She asks, not letting go. Regulus shakes his head, an honest answer. He’s not alright, far from it actually. 

“That’s alright, it’s just me for the day. Have you eaten?” He shakes his head again. “That’s not good! Let’s get you something to eat first, we can talk later.” 

She steps back and puts a hand on his back, guiding him into the dining room and calling Kreature.

Kreacher walks around the corner and looks between the two of them, “What do you need, Madam Black?” 

“Can you make some lunch, Kreature?” She asks, taking a seat across from Regulus, “Anything is fine.”

“Of course,” He says, insincerity dripping from his voice as he walks off into the kitchen. 

***

Narcissa raises an eyebrow at Regulus, pointing to his plate, “You’ve barely eaten, Reg, aren’t you hungry?”

Regulus shakes his head, pushing his plate away slightly. “I’m not hungry.” 

“When was the last time you ate?” She questions. 

Regulus thinks back, “Uh, technically dinner yesterday?”

“No, not technically,” She corrects, “Really, when was it?”

“Lunch yesterday,” He says, to which she pushes the plate back to him. 

“Eat Regulus,” She instructs, “Why didn’t you have dinner yesterday? Or breakfast this morning?”

“I felt sick yesterday, at dinner,” He clarifies, “And because I didn’t eat dinner, I didn’t get breakfast.”

“Sick?” She asks, “Like ill-type sick or nervous sick?”

“Nervous,” He admits, “It’s fine.”

She shakes her head, “That’s not alright, you need to eat something, Regulus. At least something before your mother comes back.”

He crosses his arms, “Can I be excused?” 

“Only if you’ll talk to me about it,” She proposes, and he nods in begrudging agreement. She calls Kreature in and has him clear the table, and Regulus heads back up to his room. Narcissa is close behind. 

Regulus takes a seat on his bed, moving back to rest against the wall, and pulling his knees up to his chest. Even the prospect of talking about this is making him ill. 

Narcissa shuts the door behind her and takes a seat in the chair at his desk, facing him. 

“You can’t speak a word of this conversation, understand?”

Regulus nods, “I won’t.”

“I’m sure you’re well aware, but your mother is furious, contacted me in a rage yesterday over coming to watch you,” She says, “And she will beat me senseless if she knows I’m encouraging this. And I would rather be in one piece for my wedding.”

Regulus musters a small smile, “I understand.”

“Good,” She smiles, “Now since your mother told me nothing, what happened yesterday?”

Regulus takes a deep breath, “Sirius- He got in an argument with my mother. It got heated, she threatened to kick him out, but he- He said he would leave instead. So he did, I guess.”

“How do you feel about it?” She asks.

“Horrible,” Regulus admits, “I didn’t sleep last night, and my mother was furious this morning because it had looked like I’d been crying. Which, I had. I think it’s why I wasn’t hungry yesterday, too.”

Narcissa nods, “It’s understandable. Was your mother angry that you were upset?”

Regulus nods, “She thinks I shouldn’t care about him. Although I don’t see eye to eye with him on pretty much anything, I certainly care about him. A lot. I mean, he’s my brother, that makes sense, right?”

“Absolutely,” She agrees, “I know it’s nothing of the same, but I felt similar when I had to end contact with Andromeda. Granted, I still had another sister, and it was not nearly as jarring as this, but it’s still challenging. Especially when it’s so sudden.”

“I feel like I shouldn’t,” Regulus admits, “I- I don’t agree with him, I think what he was doing was ridiculous. But I didn’t want him gone, why would I want to surround myself with that?”

“Sirius kept you safe for a long time,” Narcissa reasons, “He showed you love, naturally you’re going to attach yourself to someone like that.”

Regulus just sighs, feeling an all too familiar lump build back up in his throat. He’ll breakdown if he says anything more, and he promised not to shed a single more tear over Sirius.

“Reg,” She moves to take a seat next to him, “It’s alright to take a day to work through it all. If you don’t you’ll feel horrible for weeks, you’ll stress yourself sick.”

“I shouldn’t need to,” He chokes out.

“You shouldn’t, but you still do,” She points out, “I’m here all day, don’t feel bad if you need to take time for yourself. I understand, ok? Better now than when your mother is here.”

Regulus nods, not looking over at Narcissa. 

“Look here, Regulus,” She tells him, and he looks over to see a soft smile on her face, “You’re ever so loved, and I know your mother is likely giving you the worst time, but it’ll be alright. I promise.”

Hot tears begin to stream down Regulus’ face, breaking his cold facade at Narcissa’s words. She pulls him into a tight hug, the kind only Sirius and her can give. 

He’s so grateful she’s here today.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good news, this chapter is generally light. bad news, the next one isn't. have fun!

Knocking on the door wakes Sirius up, and he’s surprised to find that he’s laying on top of  _ James _ ? He remembers, vaguely, having a horrible nightmare and James calming him down from it. He remembers the nightmare vividly, but not talking to James. Oh well, he’ll take it.

James grumbles and he holds onto Sirius tighter as if Sirius was the one urging him up. Another knock from the door, Mrs. Potter’s voice sounding from the other side.

“James, Sirius, come get breakfast.”

“5 more minutes,” James yells back at his mother, and Sirius, for one, is a little in shock. 

“Aren’t you going to miss breakfast if you go back to sleep?” He asks, confused.

“No,” James replies, “Mum will just serve it when we get down there. You can go if you want, but I want you to stay here!”

“Fine,” Sirius sighs, not willing to rain on James’ parade with the fact  _ starving _ , considering the only thing he’s eaten in the past 48 hours, give or take, was dinner the night before. And even then, he didn’t eat much.

His mother knocks again 5 minutes later, “James, come on sweetheart, don’t hold Sirius up.”

“Alright alright, coming,” James replies, looking at Sirius and sleepily smiling, “Good morning!”

“Good morning,” Sirius answers. James lets him go and Sirius gets up, looking over to his trunk. Do they expect him to be dressed for breakfast?  _ What _ are the rules in a normal household?

He gets his answer when James walks right out the door, Sirius following behind him. They head down and into the kitchen and just the smell of the food makes his stomach growl.

“Good morning boys!” Mrs. Potter greets gesturing to the table Mr. Potter is already sitting at, “Come sit, I’ll plate your food.”

James takes the seat across from his dad, Sirius taking a hesitant seat next to both of them. 

Mr. Potter sets his newspaper down, “Good morning James, good morning Sirius.”

“Morning Dad,” James replies, pointing at an article on the paper, “Is that the ministry guy you were talking about the other day? Did he really get fired?”

“That he did,” Mr. Potter folds the newspaper and setting it off to the side, “The man deserved it. Right git, thinking he knows more than the entire Auror office from what I heard.”

“Fleamont,” Mrs. Potter chides, setting a plate full of food in front of James and Sirius, “Let’s keep the ministry politics away from the table.” 

“Euphemia, your son asked,” He points out, taking a piece of bacon off of the plate of it she sets in the center of the table. 

“I wonder who teaches him that,” She comments, taking a seat at the final spot at the table, across from Sirius. 

Sirius slowly eats what’s on the plate in front of it, enjoying all of it but knowing better than to eat fast. It’s rude to eat fast.

Apparently, James does not have the same mentality, as he is practically inhaling his breakfast.

“So Sirius,” Mrs. Potter starts, “Was sharing a room with James bad? We can clean out the guest room from all that clutter today, move the bed back in there if you’d like.”

“No, it was fine,” Sirius replies, “I don’t mind it.”

“That means yes please let us stay in the same room,” James cuts in, “It’s kind of like a sleepover, or having a sibling. Either one.”

“Sirius, ignore James, do you want to share a room?” She asks again, “It’s really no issue if you’d rather have your own, we have a room already.”

“I like staying with James,” Sirius maintains, taking another bite of toast. 

“Alright, if he gets on your nerves it’s a simple move back,” She assures him. He nods in response.

“I get on no one’s nerves,” James says, laughing, “I’m very tolerable.”

“Whatever you say, my boy,” Mr. Potter says before looking to Sirius, “So, someone told me you’re awfully good at Wizard’s Chess.”

“I’m alright,” Sirius shrugs.

“That’s such a lie,” James argues, “You beat me every time! And I’d say I’m pretty good.”

“I’ll have to play a game with you, and I’ll be the judge of that,” Mr. Potter says, smiling at Sirius, “Although, I think I’m pretty hard to beat.”

“Sirius dear, you’re a breath of fresh air in this house,” Mrs. Potter comments, “Between James and his father, I believe a little bit of humbling energy is what they need.” 

Sirius smiles at her, not saying anything. It’s not awkward, he’s just not used to people talking more than 2 words at the table. 

The table is generally quiet for the next couple of minutes, Sirius clearing his plate but not knowing if it’s appropriate to just grab seconds off the table. He’s certainly still hungry, but he really doesn’t want to do anything wrong.

Mrs. Potter must notice him eying one of the plates, because she answers his question, “Feel free to grab more, Sirius.”

He nods, “Thank you.” He grabs a couple more bacon pieces and another piece of toast, finishing all that probably slightly too fast. Although, upside, he’s not hungry anymore. 

“Are we doing anything today?” James asks, looking between his mother and father. 

“Not that I know of,” Mr. Potter replies, “Unless your mother has something planned.”

“I have to go out and buy a couple of things, but nothing you’re attending, James.”

“Aww, no fun,” James whines.

Mr. Potter stands up and takes his plate, dropping it in the sink before looking back to the three of them at the table, “Mia, want me to come do these dishes when you all finish?”

“I can do it, it’s fine,” Mrs. Potter assures him before turning around to look at Sirius, “Speaking of going out, is there anything you need me to get, dear? I can’t imagine that one trunk packed in a hurry can fit your whole life.”

“No, I’m fine,” He politely answers, not wanting her to  _ buy  _ him anything. He’s practically a guest. 

“Are you sure?” He nods. “Alright, if anything comes up just let me know. You, on the other hand,” She looks to James, “Need to stop tampering with my shopping lists.”

He laughs, “You have no proof I’m doing that.”

“Other than your horrible handwriting at the bottom of everything,” She points out, “Are you both done?”

Sirius nods, and James answers, “Yeah, I’m done.”

She takes both their plates and sets them in the sink. James gets up and Sirius follows suit, not needing to hesitantly follow him because James practically drags him back upstairs. 

Sirius shuts the door behind the two of them and James flops back on his bed, “Ugh! I’m so tired, fix it, Sirius.”

“Fix the fact that you’re tired?” Sirius laughs, “I have a solution, take a nap.”

“But I don’t want to fall back asleep!” James complains, “I want to stay awake. And talk to you!”

“I’m planning on writing to Remus anyway,” Sirius says, going into his trunk to pull out something to write on and write with, “I’d rather not have your ramble transcribed as I listen to it.”

“Fine, fine,” James glances at the clock, “Throw something at me in like an hour, yeah?”

“Sounds good to me,” Sirius says, grabbing a seat on the bed and laying a book down to write on. 

Where does he even start?

_ Remus, _

***

“Regulus! Come down for lunch or you’re not getting any!” His mother screams up the stairs. 

He pulls himself out of his chair, feeling admittedly a little lightheaded from the only meal and a half he’s had since a couple of days ago. Narcissa forced him to eat  _ something  _ yesterday, which wasn’t much but is at least keeping him on his feet. 

He heads downstairs and into the dining room, noticing only his mother seated at the dinner table. He takes his seat across from her, her unforgivable glare somehow ruining his appetite. 

Kreature sets two plates on the table, Regulus giving him a small smile of thanks. If he wasn’t in front of his mother, he would actually thank the house elf.

He waits for his mother to take her first bite, then taking one of his own. 

He forces himself to eat what’s in front of him, not because it’s bad, but because he  _ really _ isn’t hungry. He gets through about half his meal before he can’t eat anymore, taking extremely small bites hoping to throw off his mother. It doesn’t work, she’s smarter than that.

“What did I say at dinner yesterday?” She threateningly whispers, “Finish that plate.”

He listens, taking another real bite of his lunch. She’s just staring at him, and he’s afraid if he stops eating she’ll get furious with him. She’s already angry at God knows what.

He forces his whole lunch down, and it’s only then that his mother starts speaking, “Have you finished your work, what I gave you last night?”

“Yes mother,” He answers, hesitating before asking, “May I spend time in the piano room today?”

His mother sighs, “I suppose.”

He gives her a small smile, “Thank you, mother.”

They sit in silence for a moment before his mother yells, “Kreature!” 

He pops into the room, “Yes, Mistress?”

“Clean up, Regulus, you’re excused.” 

Regulus gets up from the table and walks off into the piano room, which hasn’t been touched in days. He needs this, piano always calms him down.

Regulus spends an hour flipping through his book, from piece to piece, playing whatever is presented in front of him. He manages to play off the sick feeling he got from lunch, although once he stopped playing to do something else it would creep back in. It was weird being in the piano room alone, it was typical Sirius would spend time like this with him. But he’s not here anymore.

There’s a particular piece he plays, several times over. It sounds just a little off, but he can’t quite place it. He needs a second opinion.

His mother will ream him out for every small technical error if he asks, Sirius doesn’t  _ live here anymore _ , so that leaves one other person in the house. Kreature.

“Kreature,” Regulus calls, the elf popping into the room. He gives Regulus a small smile, a genuine one.

“Yes, Master Regulus?”

“If it’s not too much trouble,” Regulus starts, “Can you listen to this song for me? I feel as if something sounds askew, although I’m unsure what.”

“No trouble at all,” Kreature replies, “Let me listen.”

Regulus plays the piece, once again feeling as if something is slightly wrong around halfway through. He plays the last cord before setting his hands on his knees, looking over to Kreature.

“Did you hear it?”

“I, of course, am of no place to critique, Master, however,” Kreature walks up next to him, looking at the music a moment, “I believe you’re speeding up on your shorter notes,” He points to a particularly complicated bar, “Like here.”

Regulus squints at the music a moment before playing what’s in front of him, looking back to Kreature once again. 

“That?” He asks. 

“Not quite, slower on beat two, Master,” Kreature calmly instructs in the kind tone he only uses with him. 

Regulus plays it again, going slower on the second beat as Kreature said. It suddenly clicks. 

He marvels at the realization a moment before playing the rest of the line with the same note value. It sounds right.

“Perfect,” Kreature commends, “That sounds wonderful, Master Regulus.”

“Thank you so much, Kreature,” He looks back and smiles at him.

“My pleasure,” Kreature replies, “Simply call if you require any more help.”

Regulus nods, “I will, thank you again.”

Kreature bows his head before snapping his fingers and disappearing. Regulus turns back to the music and plays it again. And again. And again.

Obsessively, he picks apart everything about it, working it for what had to be hours until his mother yells at him from down the hallway.

“Regulus!” She screams, “Come here!”

He freezes a moment, frantically thinking about what she could be yelling at him about. He quickly shakes it off, though, knowing he’ll be in more trouble if he doesn’t get up  _ now _ .

He walks up to her, standing with his hands behind his back. He flexes them out of sight of her, working out the tightness from playing for so long. She thankfully doesn’t see, because only naughty children fidget. 

“Cygnus and Druella are attending dinner Saturday,” She states, “Along with Narcissa and Bellatrix. You’re expected to be in family formal dress by 4:30 sharp. No exceptions.” 

“Yes mother,” He hesitates before asking a question, “Is Lucius and Rodolphus attending as well?”

“It’s ‘are’,” She coldly corrects, “And I believe they are. Even more of a reason to dress properly. Now, you’ve been on that piano all day, I’m hoping you have something to show for it?”

Of course, she has to infringe on his comfort activity. “Yes, mother.”

“Come then, show me what you practiced.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new characters have arrived to the scene!

Regulus checks the clock again. 4:28. He quickly pulls on the rest of his outfit, regretting not starting to get ready earlier. Now, he’s throwing his  _ entire _ formal outfit on in 5 minutes. And it’s a lot of pieces.

He clasps the final button and straightens out his hair, rushing down the hallway and down the stairs, slowing as he gets to the bottom so his mother doesn’t scold him for rushing. Although, he’s really getting sick of walking on eggshells. 

“Lord, Regulus, you’re lucky you’re on time,” His mother shoots at him the second he gets down the stairs, “Stand there, not a sound unless you’re spoken to.”

He stands where she gestured to, far enough back to be the last person anyone sees when they walk in. The spot next to him is unfortunately empty. He is  _ not  _ going to be able to get through a family gathering without Sirius, and he hates to even admit it.

His aunt and uncle walk in first, giving a loving greeting to his mother and father. They don’t walk over to greet him. They never do, that’s no surprise. Rather, they enter a conversation with his parents, drawing their attention off him. 

Right after them comes Narcissa and Lucius, much to Regulus’ relief. Bellatrix is way too much for him to deal with alone. They also greet his parents, but Narcissa walks over to greet him as well.

She gives him a hug, “Hello, Regulus.”

“Hello,” He simply replies, not wanting to talk more than he has to. Lucius comes up behind her, extending his hand for Regulus to shake, which he does.

“Nice to see you, Regulus,” He greets, his tone considerably colder than Narcissa. Regulus simply smiles back. 

“Have you felt better?” Narcissa questions.

Regulus nods, “I have.”

“Good,” She smiles, “I was worried about you.” She looks down at his hands, which are not only bruised but beat up from playing so much. She takes one on her own, seemingly studying it.

He slowly takes his hand back, “It’s alright.” 

“What happened?” She questions, but he simply glances off to his mother before shaking his head, “Alright, I’ll ask you later.”

He lets out a small sigh of relief that she dropped it, as he  _ shouldn’t  _ be talking about it. 

There’s another knock at the door, all three of them looking over to see Bellatrix and Rodolphus trailing behind her. She gives her grandiose greeting to her parents as well as his before walking over to where the three of them are.

“Hey, Cissy!” She happily greets, pulling Narcissa into a big hug, “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“It’s been around a month, Bella,” She steps back and waves to Rodolphus behind her before looking back to Bellatrix, “What has mother told you?”

“Zero, nothing” Bellatrix replies, “You get all the information.”

Regulus knows they’re talking about what happened with Sirius, it’s just extremely awkward that they’re not really addressing it.

“We’ll talk later,” Narcissa simply replies before gesturing over to Regulus, “Are you going to greet your cousin ever?”

“Little Cissy bossing me around,” She jokingly rolls her eyes before looking over to Regulus, “I don’t believe I’ve seen you in even longer, Regulus.”

He shakes his head, “A couple of months.”

She gives him a hug before laughing, “I’ve missed my favorite cousin.”

“Slim pickings,” Narcissa comments, to which Bellatrix laughs again. 

“Good one there,” She comments, bumping Narcissa with her elbow.

This extremely uncomfortable conversation is luckily cut off by his mother yelling, “Enough with the standing around, off to the dining room, the lot of you.”

Regulus walks off into the dining room, taking a seat where he always does. To his relief, Narcissa sits next to him, Rodolphus across from him, and Lucius and Bellatrix next to both of them respectively. He doesn’t mind being across from Rodolphus, the man rarely speaks when he’s over anyway. Or smiles, for that matter.

Their parents sit a couple of seats away, isolating them as if they were still children. Well, Regulus kind of is, but Narcissa is 21 and Bellatrix is 25. They’re not children.

Kreature appears, setting food on the table for all of them. Regulus  _ hates _ when they eat early because he’s always starving by the next morning, and he’s not the one to sneak food.

Bellatrix is the one to speak first, “So, notably sans a member of the  _ noble _ side of the Black family, how wonderful.”

“Astute observation, Bella,” Narcissa deadpans. 

“I’m just making conversation,” Bellatrix looks to Regulus, “So how are you doing there, Regulus?”

“Alright,” He replies, hoping she stops talking to him.

She doesn’t. “How about without big brother Sirius?” She teases, “He would always hide you away from us.”

“Fine,” He maintains, absolutely  _ dreading _ the direction he knows this conversation is about to go. Bellatrix has  _ no _ filter whatsoever.

“Aw, come on, more than fine,” She prods, “Happy? Sad? Angry? Relieved? Come on, give us more!”

Regulus shrugs, “Indifferent.”

“Aw, indifferent! Boring.” They get one moment of silence as she goes to eat something. “Regulus, you were far too sheltered by him if you ask me. Always hiding you behind him. You get to be independent, not leeching off of that idiot! Right?”

Regulus shrugs again, not feeling like responding. This conversation is killing  _ any _ feeling of wellness he felt ignoring all this.

“Lay off it, Bella,” Narcissa scolds, barely giving Bellatrix a glance.

“I’m just interested, so I’m asking,” Bellatrix keeps going, “When’d he leave?”

“Tuesday,” Regulus answers.

“It’s been no time at all, has it?” She marvels, “Probably been a lot quieter without him.”

“You’re one to talk,” Narcissa comments.

“Oh, quiet, Cissy,” Bellatrix brushes her off, “Tell me what happened, Regulus.”

Regulus shifts uncomfortably in his seat, glancing over to Narcissa. “Just an argument,” He quietly says, trying to sound simply hushed rather than uncomfortable.

“Over what?” She questions, “I’m left out of the family drama, and I’m interested.”

Regulus shakes his head, “I’m unsure.”

“Oh come on,” Bellatrix jokingly groans, “You know! Or at least have a guess!”

“I don’t,” He lies again.

“Then do you know where he went?” She asks, “16-year-old roaming the streets sounds kind of dangerous.”

He had tried not to think about where Sirius went because it honest to God terrifies him, as much as he hates him for leaving he still wants him to be safe. Leave it to his cousin Bellatrix to bring it up. 

“I don’t know,” He replies, suppressing any shake in his voice so as not to get either teased or beat. 

“Probably out starving or something,” Bellatrix laughs, that distinct ‘Bella cackle’, “Possibly he’s been-”

Narcissa must pick up on the  _ extremely anxious  _ energy Regulus is giving off, because she stops her.

“Bella,” Narcissa stops her, “Let’s drop the subject.”

“You all are no fun,” Bellatrix complains, “Right, Rodolphus?”

He looks over and nods, not saying anything before going back to his dinner.

The next 10 or so minutes are filled with worthless small talk between Narcissa and Bellatrix, with periodic comments from Lucius and begrudging nods from Rodolphus. Regulus doesn’t say anything, just pushing around what’s on his plate. He eats a couple more bites, but Bellatrix  _ really _ threw him off.

While Bellatrix and Lucius are engaged in some conversation that Regulus doesn’t even  _ want _ to know about, Narcissa nudges Regulus.

“You’ve barely eaten,” She whispers to him.

He looks over at her, “I’m not hungry.”

“Yes, you are,” She corrects him, “Eat more.”

“I’m not a child,” He argues, “I can take care of myself.”

“I’m sure you can,” She glances over to his parents, “But you know you’re going to get in trouble, right?”

He looks back to his plate and sighs, picking up the fork and listening. Thing two he’s sick of: Having no appetite. 

His mother standing catches his eye a couple of minutes later. She walks over and stands behind him and Narcissa, laying a firm hand on his shoulder. 

“Regulus,” She says through her teeth, looking down at him, “I’m disappointed. I have to talk to your cousins, up to your room.”

He doesn’t know why she’s disappointed, but he doesn’t ask, “Yes, mother.”

She picks her hand up and he gets up from the table, walking back up to his room. 

He shuts his door and grabs a seat on his bed, practically zoning out looking at the floor. He really wasn’t ready for Bellatrix to bring that up, although he really should have known, She asks about whatever comes to her head. Doesn’t matter if  _ maybe _ that’s a touchy subject at the moment. She wants to talk about it, they talk about it.

She’s planted a series of worse case scenarios in his head, and he just keeps thinking of more. Goddamnit, he’s working himself into a hole.

Time goes by, although he has no idea how long, and eventually there’s a calm knock on his door that drags him back to reality. It’s certainly not his mother, he knows that much.

“Come in,” He says, standing up and straightening himself out. 

The door opens to reveal Narcissa on the other side, “Hello Regulus, did I interrupt anything?”

He shakes his head, “No.”

“Good, Lucius and I have a prior commitment, so we’re leaving early,” She takes a couple more steps in, “I just wanted to come and say goodbye.”

“Oh,” He whispers, waiting for her to make the first move.

She walks over and pulls him into a hug, “I’m sorry about dinner, Reg.”

“You didn’t do anything,” He replies, shaking his head, “It’s fine.”

“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” She says.

“It was fine,” He says.

“When you’re uncomfortable, you don’t eat,” She steps back, “You’ve never changed, Reg.”

He gives her a confused look, “I always do that?”

She nods, “As long as I can remember. I have a vivid memory of you when we were younger, refusing to eat dinner because Sirius wasn’t with you.”

He lets out a small laugh, “This is news to me.”

“I’m glad I get to enlighten you,” She smiles, cut off before she can say anything else.

“Cissa,” Lucius says from the door, “We have to go.”

“Yes yes,” She gives Regulus another hug, “Always feel free to send me an owl if you need anything. I love you, Reg.”

“Love you too,” He quietly replies. God does he hate the words ‘I love you.’

She walks back to the door and Lucius wraps a hand around her waist. She waves and shuts the door, and he hears her heels click as she walks down the hallway. 

He hopes Bellatrix doesn’t feel the need to say goodbye.

***

James jumps up at the knock on the door, effectively startling Sirius. 

“My God,” Sirius yells after him, “Kill me, why don’t you?”

“Shush,” James looks back, “You’ll like who's here.”

“I’ll what?” He walks up behind him, but James doesn’t answer him and just opens the door.

“Remus!” James exclaims, throwing his arms around the figure at the door. Which is, in fact, Remus.

“Hey, careful James,” He lightly hugs back, “Please.”

“Sorry sorry,” James steps back and moves out of the way, inviting Remus inside. 

Remus takes a couple of steps in and smiles at Sirius.

“You were coming and you didn’t tell me?” Sirius walks up and Remus envelops him in a hug. Sirius is more than appreciative of it, but for some reason, he feels like Remus shouldn’t be here. When was the full?

_ 2 days ago. _

“Remus,” Sirius says, not moving from Remus’ hug, “Was the full not 2 days ago?” 

“That doesn’t matter,” He dismisses him, “I’m fine, I’m here for you, and the fact that you’re living at James’ house now.”

“Did you get my letter?” Sirius asks.

“I did, I’m sorry I didn’t reply,” Remus starts to run a hand through Sirius’ hair, “Bad full.”

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it,” Sirius whispers.

“Hey lovebirds,” James calls, Sirius leaning over to see him and Remus looking back, “Want to come up to our room instead of my entranceway?”

Remus looks down at Sirius for an answer. “Yeah, sure James,” Sirius steps back and grabs Remus’ hand, heading up the stairs behind James.

Sirius takes a seat on his bed and pats the spot next to him, Remus walking over and taking a seat. James heads over to his own bed, leaving them both alone. 

“Do you want to lay down?” Sirius asks.

Remus kicks his shoes off, moving back to lay against the pillows off the bed. He waves Sirius over, but Sirius hesitates a moment.

“Am I going to hurt you or anything?”

“No, no,” Remus assures him, “It’s fine.”

“I don’t believe you, but ok,” Sirius lays down on top of Remus, wrapping his arms around him and revels in the feeling for a moment. He’s found himself trying to root in all the  _ constants  _ in his life, which is unfortunately not many, so spending time with Remus is helping with that. 

“How’re you doing?” Remus quietly asks, resting his arms on Sirius’ back.

Sirius sighs, “Not sure.”

“Want to talk?” Remus proposes, “I have to be home in an hour, so we don’t have to now.”

“Only an hour?” Sirius asks, disappointed he isn’t staying longer.

“You’re lucky my mother let me leave,” He smiles, “She was very against me leaving the house.”

“I would say as she should have been, but I’m happy you’re here,” Sirius replies.

“So,” Remus says, “Is that a yes you’ll talk to me?”

“What do I even talk about?” He sighs again.

“Well, can you start by telling me what happened maybe?” Remus suggests, “Since I really don’t know.”

“I mean, I got kicked out, well- I kind of ran away, a little of both,” Sirius poorly explains, “My mother and I got in an argument, bad one. Called me no son of hers, and pretty much told me to get out.”

“Regulus?” He asks, downing on Sirius’ entire mood.

Sirius shakes his head, “At home. I feel horrible about leaving him.”

“I mean, you didn’t have a choice,” Remus reasons, “I’m sure he’s fine.”

“I don’t think he is,” Sirius’ eyes fall away from Remus, “My mother was furious, I’m sure he got the end of that.”

“Can you send him anything? To make sure he’s alright?” Remus asks, but Sirius shakes his head, “What about one of your cousins?”

Sirius contemplates it a moment, “I could try Narcissa.”

“I would try it,” Remus cups a hand on Sirius’ face, “Set yourself at ease.”

Sirius leans into the hand, “Thank you, love.”

“Of course,” Remus smiles, “Is there anything more fun to talk about?”

“How about how ridiculously sweet James’ parents are?” He glances over to James who rolls his eyes.

“They’re nice to you!” He argues, “They make fun of me, they’re insane.”

Sirius laughs, “They do  _ not _ make fun of you, that’s such a lie. And I think they’re the furthest thing from insane parenting.”

“Maybe your gauge is a little off, dear,” Remus jokingly replies, “Just a little?” 

“Only a little,” Sirius turns his head to kiss the hand on his cheek, Remus pressing one to his head in return.

“Ok bye,” James covers himself with a blanket.

“James!” They both exclaim.

“You’re so jealous,” Sirius yells at him. 

His entire body freezes when he hears a knock on the door. Mrs. Potter is home  _ already _ ? What if she sees him and Remus? What if she hates him for it? What-

The door opens and Sirius turns his head to see Mrs. Potter, who looks to James for a moment before looking over to Sirius and Remus.

“Oh! Hello Remus,” She smiles, “I didn’t know you were coming over, it’s nice to see you.”

“Hello, Mrs. Potter,” He replies, “I thought James told you, I’m sorry.”

“Eh, I don’t mind,” She looks back to James, “Why didn’t you set the clothes on the line as I asked?” 

“You didn’t ask,” James argues.

“I did,” She calmly replies, “This morning.”

“I don’t remember you asking,” James maintains.

She sighs, “Can you please come do it right now?”

“Can I do it after Remus leaves?” He asks.

“Now,” She states, “Remus can come back over another time if you feel you’re missing that much, you had all day to do this, dear.”

He groans, “Ugh, fine. I’ll be back in like 15 minutes.”

“Have fun!” Remus jokes and Sirius can tell James is holding back from flipping him off. 

He walks out of the room but his mother doesn’t leave immediately. “Remus dear, are you staying for dinner? We would love to have you.”

“I would love to, but I have to be back home in an hour,” He replies, “Thank you for the offer, though.”

“Aw, that’s not long at all!” She smiles, “Just remember you’re welcome back whenever you’d like, dear.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Potter,” He answers and she walks back out of the room and shuts the door behind her.

Sirius looks back to Remus, just staring at him a moment, “I missed you.”

Remus softly laughs, “I missed you too. It’s a bittersweet circumstance, but I’m glad I get to see you.”

“Me too,” Sirius smiles, laying his head down on Remus’ chest, “Do you have any fun stories?”

“It’s not really fun, but I’d love to rant about my neighbors if you don’t have anything to talk about.”

“Let me hear it,” Sirius says, “Your rants are so filled with anger, I’m ready.”

“Oh no you aren’t,” Remus laughs, “So these assholes are practically whithering away…”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for referenced child abuse

Sirius feels his heart jump when he saw the Potter’s owl land just inside the window, carrying a letter with what he hopes are the words  _ Sirius Black _ on the front.

Mr. Potter gets up from the table and takes the letter from the bird, reading what’s on the front before handing it to Sirius, “Believe this is yours.”

“Thank you,” He replies, taking the letter and  _ making sure _ it’s from who he thinks it is. Considering the signature loopy ‘Black’ handwriting, he’s pretty sure it’s Narcissa. 

“Is it from her?” James asks, pointing.

Sirius nods, turning the letter for him to see, “Considering the handwriting, pretty sure it’s Cissy.”

“That’s such a weird nickname,” James comments, “I don’t know, it just sounds strange.”

Sirius shrugs, “It’s Bella’s nickname for her, I just adapted it, I don’t know.”

“How many cousins do you have?” Mrs. Potter asks, “That are your age, that is.”

“Well, 3, but probably a lot more I don’t know about,” He answers, “Narcissa, Andromeda, and Bellatrix. Technically a lot of people also function as my cousin because my parents are second cousins, but, I’m sure that’s old news.”

“My God, the first time you mentioned that I think my soul left my body,” James laughs, “That’s just- wild.”

“It was ‘wild’ news when the rest of the pureblood wizarding world found out as well,” Mr. Potter comments, “Not unheard of, though. No offense to you, Sirius, but it’s common among your circle of families.”

“Fleamont,” Mrs. Potter scolds.

“It’s fine,” Sirius says, “He’s right. I was actually set up to marry Narcissa if neither of us found suitable pureblood partners. She thankfully did, because I did not want that.”

“Ew ew ew,” James cringes, “That’s gross!” 

“Mhm,” Sirius nods, “It absolutely is. Such a  _ prestigious _ family line.”

James laughs, “There’s always family drama with you.”

“Correction James, I am the family drama.”

Mrs. Potter sighs, “Alright, alright, enough talk of that. Do it on your own time.”

“Sorry,” Sirius apologizes, nervous that he pushed the line too far.

“Don’t apologize,” Mrs. Potter says, “You’re fine.”

He looks back to his food, not really feeling like finishing. He’d rather be opening Narcissa’s letter, he’s concerned about his brother. 

He bites the bullet and looks up, “May I be excused?” 

“Eat a little more, then you can go,” Mrs. Potter smiles.

He nods and goes back to his breakfast, eating a little bit more of it in an attempt to get away from the table. James is eating faster too, he can tell. 

After a couple of minutes Mrs. Potter speaks up again, “You’re free to go if you’d like. Just clean your dish off and put it in the sink.”

“Thank you!” He smiles and gets up from the table, throwing out the rest of his food and placing his dish in the sink as she asked. James does the same, following Sirius as he heads up the stairs into their room. Sirius grabs a seat on his bed, and James sits across from him. Carefully, he opens the letter.

_ Sirius Black,  _

_ I am glad to know you are safe, and that you have found a place to stay. I will pass that information onto Regulus when I see him next, as he has been fearing for where you are to stay since you left.  _

_ I am not pleased with the story I have heard of your exit. I believe it was immature and selfish, and I’m not afraid to tell you this. You asked for my honest response, and I am supplying you with it. I do recognize the dangers of staying, however, you did get yourself into such a situation where the safest option was to leave. You had no regard for others around you, and sincerely I say you rocked the boat too much. Your choice to abandon your brother who you know lives solely under your mother is something I will truly never forgive you for. _

_ I say this all, not completely out of a personal distaste for your actions, but rather fear for Regulus’ wellbeing. He was sincerely hurt by your choice to leave, as he had every right to be. I spent the following day with him, after your departure, as your actions drove your mother to have a deep distrust for his loyalty. I will simply say I have not seen your brother cry since he was 8. He did not eat much then, nor did he at the family dinner we had a couple of days ago. He hasn’t looked well, and considering the increased number of bruises on his hands alone, I do not believe your mother is being the kindest either.  _

_ On the topic of your mother, simply by the way she spoke to me, she has been furious. Every minor wrong step Regulus takes she seems to take to, scolding him for each small infraction. He has been told not to speak your name, nor to shed any tears over you. I could not imagine the trouble he would be in if you attempted to contact him, so please, for his sake, do not try. As much as I hope for your peace of mind, I care for Regulus’ wellbeing more. You left him in more than an unsafe scenario, and I’m taking up for ensuring your mother does not harm him. However, I do not live in your house, and as a result, this has posed quite an impossible challenge. _

_ I still do hope you are well and hope for your safety and wellbeing. Tread lightly with contact, as your mother seems to have eyes everywhere. Apologies for the length, but you have missed quite a bit. _

  
  


_ Best Regards, _

_ Narcissa Black _

By the time he finishes he’s shaking, he’s crying, and his heart is at his feet. God, he messed up. She’s right, it was selfish. It was so so selfish. And on  _ top _ of that Regulus isn’t as ok as he had hoped? This was exactly what he wasn’t hoping for. 

James, who had been reading the letter upside down, must’ve finished, because he whispers, “Oh no, Sirius.”

“Shit,” He drops the letter and wipes his face, “Goddamit.”

“It’s ok, it’s alright,” James moves the letter out of the way and pulls Sirius into a hug, “He’ll be ok, and what you did was needed.”

“No,” He breathes out, “Fuck.”

“She’s not right. She’s just- dramatic, she doesn’t understand.”

“No, she’s right,” Sirius weakly argues, “Cissy is nothing if not honest.”

“At least she’s keeping her eye on Reg,” James says, “He’ll be okay.”

“He isn’t,” Sirius chokes out, “My mother- she’s upset. She’s- He’s-”

“Hey hey, breathe,” James cuts him off, and Sirius doesn’t say anything else. He knows James is just trying to help, but there’s no helping.

Sirius  _ is  _ selfish for leaving Regulus in what he  _ knows _ is an unsafe household. All because he didn’t want to just pretend he cares about his parent’s values.

If this is taking this much of a toll on him, considering what Narcissa wrote, he can’t imagine how horrible Regulus is feeling.

Sirius grips onto James tighter, and James thankfully doesn’t say anything. Sirius just needs some reminder that someone else is here, although he feels bad for clinging to James. Hopefully, James doesn’t mind, because he’s the only consistent person in his life at the moment.

James sits back after a couple of minutes, “Are you alright?”

Sirius shakes his head, holding out a hand that’s pretty significantly shaking. He’s insanely anxious after reading that.

“Goddamn,” James takes the hand Sirius is holding out, “I wish I knew what to say. Remus would know, but he’s not here.”

“It’s fine,” Sirius whispers, “I don’t think there is anything you can say.”

James sits and thinks for a moment before asking, “Do you want to do something else maybe? Get your mind off of it?”

“Sure,” Sirius blindly agrees. Anything is better than what is happening right now.

James gets up and goes into one of his drawers, pulling out a deck of cards and holding them up to Sirius, “Exploding Snap?”

Sirius smiles, “Only if we play Bavarian Rules.”

***

His mother’s uncharacteristically sweet voice calls up the stairs at him, “Regulus dear, come down here, I have something I’d like to talk to you about.”

Although her sweet voice is terrifying, at least she’s not screaming at him. Over the last week, he’s gotten kind of sick of it.

He gets up and heads downstairs, seeing his mother in the doorway of the dining room. She gestures for him to follow in, and he does. He takes a seat across from her with his hands on his knees. Her smile tells him he’s probably not going to get yelled at, although he’s nervous for what actually will happen.

“So dear,” She starts, “I talked with Bellatrix and Rodolphus, who have relayed the Dark Lord’s wish to gain more younger followers.”

_ Oh no _ .

“You, my dear, have been requested by name,” She smiles, “And without your traitorous brother around, I believe you finally have the room to become great.”

“When?” He simply asks. He really doesn’t know if he wants to do this. He’s admired the concept of Death Eaters for years, but this a big step. 

“Next summer,” She says, “Don’t tell me you’re choking up now, Regulus. Your admirable talk of serving the Dark Lord can’t have been for nothing.”

“Of course not, Mother,” He attempts to assure her, although she clearly isn’t ready to let him go think this over yet.

“I understand the hesitancy,” She recognizes, much to his surprise, “Although, I was contemplating it, and I implore you to remember the type of people your fighting against. Dirty, disgusting, mudblood sympathizers,” Her tone intensifies, “All they do is abandon what doesn’t work for them. They’re cowards. Sirius was nothing but a coward, don’t you believe so?”

He just stares at her a moment, and she takes the opportunity to continue to elaborate.

“He ran from you,” She leans forward onto the table, “When things got hard he ran. He left you here alone, he  _ abandoned  _ you. You’ve  _ felt _ the effects of disloyalty. And I believe that will make you fiercely loyal, dear. You’ll be one of the best in the Dark Lord’s order.”

A piece clicks: She’s right. 

He returns the conniving smile, “Do you truly believe so?”

“More than,” She replies, “Regulus, you’re the true heir to the house of Black, a family line is not fit for just anyone. And only those who are deserving truly prevail, and you’re still here, aren’t you?”

“I am,” He marvels out loud.

“That you are, dear,” She stands up, “You do not need to have a consensus at the moment, although I do encourage you to think about it.”

“I will,” He replies, waiting for her permission to leave. She might be in a good mood, but that doesn’t mean he won’t get in trouble to leaving before being excused.

“You’re excused,” She says, walking back off down the hallway. 

He walks back up to his room, his head swimming with what the hell just happened. In the moment, it felt right. She made  _ sense _ , and it didn’t sound outrageous like she normally does. Sirius  _ did  _ run away from him, he didn’t even try to take him with him. He lied for so many years, and yet Regulus still pities the loss of him? That makes no sense. She has to be right, he’s nothing but a traitor. And he was the  _ only _ thing keeping him from taking that step. 

He’s going to prove to Sirius that he doesn’t need him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was where i decided i was done with canon

Regulus hears someone walk in the house, surprising considering he wasn’t told they were expecting guests. He walks up and puts his ear against the crack in the door, attempting to hear who it is. He hears what is undeniable his mother’s voice, and is that Bellatrix’s? And the other male voice he can barely hear, nor identify. 

He hears clicking coming up the stairs and walks back over to sit at his desk, attempting to look like he wasn’t eavesdropping. 

There’s a knock on his door and his mother’s voice from the other side, “Regulus dear?”

“Yes?” He answers, looking back to see the door opening and her on the other side.

“We have a guest who would like to see you,” She smiles, “Get into formal dress and come downstairs, won’t you?”

“Yes mother,” He nods, getting up and heading over to his closet. 

“Make sure to bring your wand as well,” She adds before shutting the door and going back down the stairs. 

He gets dressed, extremely confused as to who could possibly be over that he needs to get ready in the middle of the day. And his mother was far too nice, whoever this is must be  _ important.  _

He grabs his wand and tucks it into his pocket before heading downstairs, the voices from the dining room getting clearer. One of the people in the room is definitely Bellatrix, but he has no clue who that male voice is.

Until he walks into the room.

Sitting at the head of the diner table is Lord Voldemort. He looks over and smiles at Regulus, gesturing to the seat next to his mother. 

“Ah, Regulus, nice of you to join us, come sit.”

Regulus slowly walks over and takes a seat across the table from Bellatrix, who hasn’t taken her eyes off of Lord Voldemort since he walked in.

“My dear,” His mother places a hand on this shoulder, “Remember our conversation the other day? I hope you’ve thought about the offer as I asked.”

He just simply looks at her, somehow paralyzed by the unexpected situation he’s in right now. It’s not quite fear, as it’s a scenario he’s certainly been waiting for, but it’s not quite comforting either.

“You answer questions you’re asked,” She quietly scolds, her voice sending a chill down his spine. 

“Yes, mother,” He forces himself to answer.

“Walburga,” Voldemort calls her attention over, “Can you step out for a moment, I’d like to speak to Regulus.”

“Of course, My Lord,” She stands and walks out of the room, shutting the door lightly behind her.

“Regulus, how old are you?”

“14, Sir,” He replies.

Voldemort nods, “Very young, very young indeed. Set your wand on the table for me.”

Regulus listens, setting his wand parallel to the side of the table. 

“Now, young one,” Voldemort glances to Bellatrix, “I’ve heard quite a bit about you. Word has it you’re an awfully talented dark wizard for your age.”

“Regulus is already training in both legilimency and occlumency, he can-”

“Silence, Bellatrix,” Voldemort calmly quiets her, to which she sinks back away from him. He looks back to Regulus, “Who is training you?”

“Bellatrix,” He answers, Bellatrix smiling confidently. 

“Wonderful, I was hoping so,” He approves, “It is important to know where your loyalties lie, young one. It is a dangerous world, full of those who will use you for their own. You’ve been taught well, and I hope such teaching has instilled the proper beliefs, yes?”

“Yes,” Regulus agrees. It’s the honest truth, he was taught right, he knows what is proper to believe. His brother may not have seen it, but Regulus wasn’t so blind.

“I believe you would be a wonderful one of my disciples, young one,” Voldemort says, “What are your feelings, have you considered joining?”

Regulus has spent the last two days thinking about this exact question, he knows exactly how he feels.

“Yes,” Regulus nods, “I would be honored too.”

Voldemort gives him a toothy smile. “Absolutely wonderful to hear, Regulus,” He pauses a moment and the smile fades, “However, I believe you’re still too young. Your mother suggested next summer, and I’m inclined to agree. Nevertheless, it is excellent to know your loyalties lie in the right places.” 

“I can teach him more, My Lord,” Bellatrix excitedly pipes up, “There is so much he can know, and he’s still young. He’ll be ready to take on whatever you ask.”

“I believe that sh0uld be put in order,” Voldemort replies, “I trust you to put him in the best position f0r when he’s of age.” Voldemort lets out a laugh,” Regulus, young one, you’re going to rise through my ranks very quickly, and I can always do with more competent wizards around.”

Regulus smiles at the comment. He’s doing this, it’s real. Terrifyingly exciting. 

“Invite Walburga back in, won’t you, Bellatrix?”

Bellatrix gets up and opens the door, letting his mother back in. He was  _ really  _ enjoying it when she wasn’t here, but he’ll take it. She’ll hopefully be happy with him.

She takes a seat next to Regulus and looks over to Voldemort, “I trust Regulus behaved, My Lord?”

“You’ve raised a very respectful son, Walburga,” Voldemort looks to Regulus, “I’m very impressed with him.”

“I would be displeased if he was any less.”

“However, I agree with the consensus that he is too young,” He says, “Regulus and I have agreed next summer will be perfect.”

“That’s what I was hoping to hear,” She looks over to Regulus, “I’m proud of you, dear.”

He smiles up at his mother, indulging in the feeling of pure  _ pride _ . She’s so rarely proud of him, but it felt good when she was. It was his reward for putting himself on the right path. 

“Now, Bellatrix and I must be off,” He stands, Bellatrix doing the same, “It was wonderful seeing you, Walburga, Regulus.”

“You as well, My Lord,” His mother stands, “I’ll see you out. Regulus, stay here.”

Regulus nods and the three of them walk out of the room, growing quiet as they head towards the door. He pays no interest in listening to them, he’s busy being more than satisfied with whatever the  _ hell  _ just happened. Talk about a wild afternoon.

His mother walks back and stands in the doorway, smiling, “You’re excused Regulus.” 

He gets up and walks up to his room, shutting the door lightly and just standing there a moment. He revels in the feeling. Of  _ worth _ . Of  _ independence _ . Of  _ power _ . 

He won’t be Sirius’ quiet little brother for a second longer.

***

Sirius hasn’t been able to sleep for two days. He won’t tell James there’s anything wrong, he doesn’t need to worry anyone. But he can’t get the image of that letter out of his head. It’s not Narcissa’s fault like James tried to argue. He asked her, and she was honest. If he didn’t want to know, he shouldn’t have asked. 

He’s been hiding up in his and James’ room, not really wanting to go down and interact with James and his parents at the moment. It’s nothing against them, but he’s just convincing himself he wants to be alone. Although, being alone is probably doing more harm than good.

There’s a knock on the door that startles him out of his train of thought, hesitantly saying, “Come in?”

Mrs. Potter peeks in the door, giving him a soft smile, “Hello Sirius, may I come sit and talk with you for a moment?”

Sirius practically stops breathing, panic practically striking him frozen. Good things don’t happen when someone wants to talk, especially since at any moment he feels like he’s going to get kicked out.

“I’m not making you leave dear, don’t worry.” How did she know that? “May I?”

“Sure,” He says, moving backward on the bed. She shuts the door behind her and takes a seat in front of him, setting a hand on his knee.

“Are you feeling alright, dear? You’ve seemed a little reserved, I just want to make sure there’s nothing bothering you,” She calmly asks him.

“Uhh, I mean,” The question catches him off guard, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” She asks again, “You know, as far as I’m concerned, as long as you’re here you’re like my second son. And if this was James, I would ask what was wrong. So if you don’t want to tell me I understand, but I do want to help if I can.”

“You probably won’t be able to help,” He sighs, “I got a letter, from my cousin, about my brother. He’s- not great. I just feel horrible for leaving him.”

“Oh, Sirius dear,” She pauses, “What you did before isn’t your choice now. What you described wasn’t safe, and no child ever, especially you, should be living in a home like that. I know you care deeply for your brother, but you need to keep yourself safe first. If he’s resilient like you, he’ll be alright. There was no right answer for something like that, and I think you made the best choice you could. Trust your brother will as well.”

Sirius nods, hesitating for a moment. “That- That makes sense,” He admits, half laughing “Why did that make sense?”

“It’s what mothers do best,” She smiles, “And like I said, I’m your mother now, so I get to give you all the comforting advice I want.”

Sirius smiles, “Thank you, Mrs. Potter.”

“I know it’ll be a lot to adjust to,” She puts her hands in her lap, “But I’m always here to talk to. It’s never a problem. Would you like a hug?”

He immediately nods, “Yeah.”

She happily draws him into one of her ‘motherly hugs’, which he always appreciates more than words. Maternal love is  _ always  _ appreciated. 

She sits back and goes to say something, but is cut off by another knock at the door. Mr. Potter pops in and holds up a letter, “This is for you, Sirius.”

“Oh,” He looks in confusion as Mr. Potter walks over and hands him the letter, “Thank you.”

“‘Course, my boy,” He answers before walking back out and shutting the door. 

“Who is this from?” He thinks out loud, flipping it over to see if there’s some sign of who it is. The seal isn’t anything but pressed, no family symbol or anything.

“That doesn’t look marked, is it your family?” She asks. 

He shakes his head, starting to carefully open up the envelope. “Can’t be, they always seal letters with that stupid family seal. I have no idea who would have any-“

He stops mid-sentence when he sees the name at the bottom of the letter. 

_ Andromeda Tonks _

“Holy- Andromeda?” He marvels, looking up at Mrs. Potter, “She was kicked out and burned off the tree before I was. Married a muggleborn.”

She nods her head, “Is that good she wrote you?”

“Really good,” He smiles, “She’s always been my favorite cousin, but I didn't get to talk to her at home. We weren’t allowed.”

“I’m glad you get to now,” Mrs. Potter gets up, “I’ll leave you to read it. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”

“Thank you again!” He says as she walks out of the room. 

He looks down at the letter.

_ Sirius, _

_ It’s great to hear that you’re finally out of that house. I always knew you saw the wrong in all their bullshit. Finally, I get to talk to my favorite cousin again.  _

_ I’ll keep things brief for you since you were never one to read. But, I was wondering if you would like to catch up over lunch? It’s been a while since we’ve talked, Sirius, and without your mother breathing over your shoulder I can actually properly see to you.  _

_ I’m sure you’re having your doubts about leaving. If it helps, it was one of the best choices I ever made. Cissy has her eyes on the inside for you, she always does.  _

_ Just let me know how it’s going, even if it’s just a “Leave me alone” (it better not be, though, or I’ll break your arm again).  _

_ P.S: In case you’re wondering how I know, Cissy let it slip.  _

_ Your favorite cousin, _

_ Andromeda Tonks (has a nice ring, don’t you think?)  _

He practically leaps out of bed, grabbing a piece of parchment and throwing together a response letter. His loopy handwriting strings every letter together, overly excited at the idea of talking to Andromeda again. God, he’s missed her. 

The door opens again and James walks in, stopping a couple of steps in and just staring at him. 

Sirius doesn’t look up, “Is there something wrong?”

“You’re writing fast,” James comments, “Remus send something?”

Sirius holds out Andromeda’s letter and James takes it, reading through it before whispering, “Oooh shit.”

Sirius signs his letter at the bottom before looking up. “Right?” He laughs and takes back the letter, “Shit is crazy.”

“No kidding,” James takes a seat on the bed, “How long has it been since you talked to her?”

“Uh, 5 years?” Sirius guesses, putting the letter in an envelope, “Something like that.”

“Bloody hell, it’s been 5 years? I remember you telling me that story in the middle of Charms class,” James laughs.

“What was I going to be doing, my work?” Sirius says, “My family drama is so much more fun.”

“It’s like, some kind of ridiculous novel,” James comments, “And I don’t even read, so your family’s stories are much more accessible.”

“Good to know it entertains you,” Sirius deadpans, getting up, “I need to send this letter, where’s your owl?”

“Fucking Bubbles,” He grumbles, “Come on, let’s find the stupid owl.”

“You hate the poor owl so much,” Sirius follows after him, “She is very sweet, unlike our owl.”

“Geyser!” James laughs, “Love that bird.”

They walk to where Bubbles is sitting in her cage, Sirius handing her the letter and stepping back, allowing her to fly out the open kitchen window. 

“Sirius,” Mr. Potter calls Sirius’ attention, “I asked James but he didn’t know, have you seen my Wizarding Chess set? I lost it this morning, and I have no idea where I put it.”

“It’s on top of the bookshelf,” He points to the bookshelf in the corner, which he clearly remembers Mr. Potter putting the chess set on this morning. 

Mr. Potter checks, and low and behold, there it is. “My goodness, thank you!” Mr. Potter smiles back at him, “Quite the memory you’ve got there.” He pauses a moment, “Now, unless you’re busy, fancy a game?”

Sirius shrugs, “I’m not doing anything.”

He takes a seat across from Mr. Potter on the couch, setting up his pieces on his side.

James grabs a seat on the ground, “I have my money on Sirius, sorry Dad.” 

“We’ll see how that goes,” Mr. Potter laughs, “You first, Sirius.”

“Pawn 5 to E4.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i know sirius never saw andromeda before he went to azkaban but that's dumb and not compliant to my plot


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> toddler tonks toddler tonks

Sirius walks down the street, which is surprisingly empty for a Saturday afternoon. His eyes scan the crowd for a familiar face, practically shaking with excitement. It’s only been 5 years since he’s seen Andromeda, but it feels like a really long time. He has no idea what she’s been up to.

Finally, he walks up to the small restaurant they agreed to eat at and spots someone sitting on the bench, who is unmistakably Andromeda. But, is there a  _ child _ sitting next to her? He’ll ask questions later.

“Andy!” He calls, causing Andromeda’s head to swing around, “You didn’t stand me up, huh.” 

“I only thought about it,” She beams, standing up and waving him over with both hands. He runs into a hug, thrilled to be reunited with his favorite cousin again.

“God, I missed you,” He admits. 

“I missed you more, Sirius. It’s been far too long.” 

“Tell me about it,” Sirius steps back and glances to the little girl behind her, sitting on the bench. She has notably dark purple hair down to her shoulders. Strange, considering she doesn’t even look 5 yet.

“Oh! I should introduce you,” She steps over to the side, gesturing for the girl to come over, “This is Nymphadora, my daughter.”

“Daughter?!” He exclaims, “You had a kid?” 

“That I did,” She laughs, “I need more of me around the house, and Dora is just like me. I wasn’t going to bring her, but Ted is out at work today, so she gets to meet you too.”

Sirius gazes down at the girl, not really knowing if he should say something. 

“Hi!” She waves, tilting her head, “Who’re you?” 

Sirius glances back up to Andromeda. “She is just like you,” He laughs before looking back down, “I’m Sirius.”

“That’s a funny name,” She laughs.

“Be nice, Dora,” Andromeda lightly scolds, “Let’s go in before this goes any deeper.” 

Nymphadora holds her hands up and Andromeda picks her up, walking in with Sirius beside her. They get their table and take a seat, Sirius across from Andromeda. Nymphadora is positioned on the inside of the booth scribbling on a piece of paper in front of her. They order their drinks and the waitress walks off.

“So,” Andromeda starts, “I had to have missed a lot, what’s new with you?”

“Well for one-”

“Wait before you start,” She immediately stops him, “Do not, for the love of God, swear. She picks up words like crazy, and Ted will kill me.”

“I’ll try my best,” He says before starting again, “The biggest thing I think you’ve missed is I have a boyfriend now.”

“You what?!” She smiles, “Really? That’s insane! I’m so happy for you, who is he?”

“His name is Remus,” Sirius looks down and smiles, trying not to blush, “He’s wonderful, just- the sweetest person alive. We started dating around, maybe mid-year last year? Not going to lie, we hooked up before that though.”

“Have you seen him over the summer?” She asks.

“Just once,” Sirius looks back up, “Normally I don’t at all, so I’ll take it. And we’ll probably be able to suck him back over.”

“Pureblood?”

“Nope, half-blood.”

Andromeda nods, not saying anything as the waitress walks over and sets their drinks on the table. She takes their orders and they thank her before returning to the conversation.

“So, I know I sent the letter, but, who exactly are you living with?” She asks.

“My friend, James, and his parents let me stay there.”

“How’d that happen?” She questions. 

“Well, I don’t know, I just kind of ended up there,” He shrugs, “It was, like, pouring rain that night, and I knew they would at least let me stay the night. The Potters are insanely nice.”

“The Potters?!” Andromeda exclaims, “You didn’t mention that part.”

“Oh, they’re the Potters,” He sarcastically says, “I didn’t think that was an important detail.”

“It’s all important, we’re  _ catching up _ ,” She laughs, taking a sip of her drink. In the literal 2 seconds she’s not talking, Nymphadora takes up for her.

“Why’s your hair long?” She asks.

Sirius hesitates, “Uh, I like it long I guess?”

“Do you have a dog?”

“No, I don’t.”

“What about a cat?”

“Nope.”

“Do you have parents?”

Sirius awkwardly laughs, “Yeah, I have those.”

“What’s on your jacket?”

“Symbols.”

“Why?”

“For my friends.”

“What-”

“That’s enough, Dora,” Andromeda sighs, “Give him some time to breathe.”

Sirius looks back to Andromeda, “How old is she?”

“I’m 3!” Nymphadora answers for her before immediately going back to drawing on the paper in front of her. Drawing is a loose interpretation. 

Andromeda nods, “There’s your answer. Something they don’t tell you about kids, the questions.”

“Horrifying,” Sirius comments, “I’m horrible with kids, as I’ve come to find.”

“It’s not that hard,” She argues, “Just don’t swear or say anything mean. As long as they’re not crying, it’s ok.”

“What kids am I interacting with to gain these skills?” He laughs, “I’m the second youngest!” 

She shrugs, “I didn’t do that, don’t blame me. Also, what kids are you interacting with to find this out?”

“Sneaking to James’ house over winter break,” Sirius answers, “He has a million younger cousins. They’re very scary.”

“Kids are not scary, Sirius,” She jokingly rolls her eyes.

“Well, they are to me,” He looks over to Nymphadora, who is pulling on Andromeda’s sleeve.

“Mum! Mum!” She whines.

“Yes, Dora?” Andromeda looks down at her.

“I’m hungry!” She complains.

“The food is on its way, they’re making it,” Andromeda looks back up to Sirius, but Nymphadora doesn’t stop.

“But now, I’m hungry now!” She’s certainly not loud at all, which is surprising since kids are normally impossibly loud.

“You can’t have it until it’s here,” Andromeda simply states. 

“When?”

“I don’t know, dear,” Andromeda somehow keeps completely calm. She’s a saint because this is frustrating Sirius and he isn’t even doing anything.

“Now,” She states, teary-eyed. Her hair starts to change to bright orange, and Sirius stares at it a moment too long, as Andromeda catches him.

“Eyes up here, Sirius,” She directs him before looking over to Nymphadora, “I know you’re frustrated, but just wait a little longer, ok?”

Begrudgingly, Nymphadora stops asking, scooting over to sit right next to her mother. Andromeda wraps an arm around her, sighing. 

“Dora is a metamorphmagus, hence the hair change,” Andromeda explains in a hushed voice, “Sorry for scolding you, she just gets frustrated so easily with it, staring makes it so much worse.”

“It’s fine, I didn’t mean to stare, I was just caught a  _ little _ off guard.”

“That makes total sense, I would be too,” Andromeda laughs, “Guess how I figured out staring is bad.”

“You’re a saint, Andy,” Sirius laughs, “I am not calm enough to deal with kids.”

“You aren’t, totally agreed,” She says, “No offense, by the way.”

“What a nice add on,” He deadpans, “Anyway, what else is there you’ve missed?”

“You tell me,” She shrugs.

Sirius thinks a moment, “I feel like suddenly every major thing that’s happened to me is just gone now.”

“Maybe you’re just stupid,” She teases, “Where’d that cut on your cheek come from?”

“My mother, who else?” He rubs a hand over the scabbed cut, “A broken vase, she hit me with a piece of a broken vase. That woman is psycho.”

“You think?” Andromeda sighs, “I should have taken you with me when I left. Would have made everything better.”

“I wish you would have,” Sirius agrees, “School just made everything worse as far as her perception of me goes.”

Andromeda gives him a sympathetic look, “I don’t even want to think about worse from what I remember. Cissy, Bella, and I always knew to fear Aunt Walburga, especially when you were around.”

Sirius smiles, “That’s my biggest talent: Angering my mother.”

“You did it so effortlessly,” She laughs, “Anyway, I’m done talking about your mother, let’s talk about something less crazy and abusive.”

Sirius doesn’t get to propose an idea before the food is brought to the table, Nymphadora excitedly sitting back up and moving away from her mother. They thank the waitress again and Nymphadora starts practically inhaling what’s in front of her.

“Slow down, Dora,” Andromeda warns, “You’ll be sick if you eat that fast.”

“No I won’t,” She argues.

“Yes you will, dear,” Her mother sighs, “Slow down.”

She grumbles to herself but effectively slows down.

Andromeda rolls her eyes, “It’s like I don’t feed her.”

Sirius laughs, “Not enough, apparently.”

The three sit in silence a moment as they start eating, although that only lasts about 20 seconds.

“Hey, hey hey,” Nymphadora calls his attention, “Uhh, hey, what’s your name?”

“Sirius,” He reminds her.

“Hey Sirius,” She says, “Can you do this?” Her hair shifts from the deep purple it returned to into bright pink. 

“No, I can’t.”

“What about this?” It changes to blue.

“Nope,” Sirius shakes his head.

“This?” Now it’s green.

“I can’t do any of that,” He says, “My hair is just black.”

“Oh,” She frowns, “Boring.”

Sirius nods, “A little.” He looks to Andromeda to hopefully intervene because he has no idea what to do, but she just smiles and shrugs. He’s used up his escape passes apparently. 

“Why’re you here?” Nymphadora asks.

“Uhh, to talk to your mother?” He replies, hoping that’s the right answer.

“What about me?” She frowns again.

“You too, I’m here to talk to you too,” He corrects himself, not even knowing he should have included her. He didn’t even know she existed before he showed up.

“Good!” She smiles, “How old are you?”

“16,” He tells her.

“That’s old,” She laughs, “Do you have a house?”

“Yes?” He hesitates, “I mean, I don’t own a house, but I live in one.”

“I don’t have a house,” She doesn’t even respond to his answer, “How many numbers do you know?”

“What?” He shakes his head, both at her answer and her question.

“I know 1, 2, 3, 4-”

“Ok Dora,” Andromeda stops her, “I’m sure Sirius loves your counting, but I thought you were hungry?”

“I am!” She answers, going back to eating her lunch.

Andromeda looks back to Sirius and shakes her head before saying, “Tell me more about this boyfriend you have.”

***

Regulus takes a deep breath, marking the piece of music in front of him even more aggressively, hoping maybe future him will listen this time. This piece of this passage is frustrating him to _no_ end. Not to mention he keeps getting distracted by his mother and his Uncle Cygnus traversing the house as they have their conversation. 

He plays it again, making the same mistake he’s made about 10 times before that. He needs to break, he’s not getting anywhere practicing the same thing he  _ isn’t  _ getting. Not to mention he hasn’t eaten in hours, as he’s been told to get lunch when he wants since his Uncle is over. So, naturally, he’s now put it off until 3pm. 

He walks over and goes to open the door, but stops when he hears his name in conversation.

“-Regulus has surely made you proud, yes?” Cygnus asks.

“I mean, of course, but I still have my doubts,” His mother replies, “Regulus is still holding onto the concept of his brother, it’s ridiculous.”

“You don’t believe pledging to the Dark Lord marks that separation enough?”

“Not at all,” His mother replies, “Don’t think I don’t hear him still weep in his room over him when I discipline him for something he’s done wrong. Regulus has the correct ideals, but he’s always been my weaker son.”

_ Weaker? _

“I have to admit I agree, Sirius was always stronger. Shame he’s no better than a mudblood,” Cygnus agrees, “Do you believe Regulus will not achieve what he should be?” 

His mother audibly sighs, “That is my fear. Regulus has never been one for utmost achievement, to me, he’s always been simply mediocre.”

_ Mediocre? _

“Bella is training him, is she not?”

“That’s what I’ve been told. I can’t imagine that succeeding very well,” She says, “Regulus might have a mastery of some dark magic, but his mind is fragile. He couldn’t kill a flower if he wanted to.”

_ Fragile? _

“You certainly don’t think the best of your only son, Walburga,” Cygnus says, almost in shock.

“I’m simply looking out for the future of the Black house, he’s my sole heir, I have no other option, Cygnus,” She coldly replies, “My first son has been marked deadbeat and my second can’t even muster a simple piano tune without giving up.”

He takes a few steps backward back into the room, staring almost in shock at the crack left in the door. He pauses a moment, processing whatever the  _ hell _ he just heard. There’s no way she thinks that, not when a mere couple of days ago she was praising him for making the right choice. Now he’s a weakminded quitter? Not on his watch.

He turns around and clumsily takes a seat back down on the piano bench. He finds his spot on the page and plays the part he can’t get again. And again. And again. And again.

A half an hour later, and he’s in the same exact spot he was before, only now his fingers hurt a little more and his hands feel like they’re going to cramp up on any given rep. 

Of course, his mother walks in as he goes to get up, clearly displeased he’s leaving.

“Trying to run away from me?” She half-jokes, although it sounds more threatening than anything, “Turn back around, show me what you’ve worked on.”

He hesitantly turns back around taking a deep breath before playing the entirety of the piece for her. It’s only around 60 bars, so it’s not terribly long. 

He gets to that section again, and low and behold, he messes up. He just keeps going, knowing she’s going to go  _ after  _ him about that because the rest isn’t very polished either.

He finishes and closes his eyes in preparation for the reprimanding.

“That was not what I expected from you, Regulus, you’ve been in here for hours,” She scolds, “And you mess up on something like that? Goodness, and you’re getting up and leaving? Practice until dinner, master that passage.” She holds her hand out, “Give me your hand.”

He holds out his hand, palm down, to her and she grabs it tightly and slaps it.

“Music teaches discipline, of which you clearly don’t have enough.” She walks back out of the room and slams the door. He flinches at the sound before sitting back up and staring at the music. Frustrated tears blur his vision, and he violently tries to blink them away. If she sees he’s been crying everything will be monumentally worse. Only weak children cry when they’re frustrated.

And he is  _ not _ weak. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry in advance

The door shuts behind Sirius and he’s pretty much immediately jumped on.

“Holy fucking shit James!” Sirius stumbles to the side, trying to keep his balance, “What the fuck?”

“Goddamn, so much swearing,” James laughs, still hanging on Sirius, “I just missed you!”

“I wasn’t allowed to swear all day, it’s just been building,” Sirius jokes, “But you did scare the shit out of me.”

“Wait why? I thought she was the  _ cool _ cousin?”

“She is, just,” Sirius pushes James onto his own feet, “I’ll tell you the whole story if you don’t hang on me.”

“Fine fine,” James jumps onto Sirius’ bed, “Come tell me! Also, what’s that in your hand?” 

“I don’t know yet,” Sirius shrugs, setting it on the nightstand, “Andy gave it to me, I’ll open it later.”

“So how’d it go?”

Sirius smiles, “It was crazy seeing her again, like absolutely insane. She hasn’t changed a bit, somehow, but- Oh my God, I walk up and there’s this kid, sitting on the bench next to her. I thought maybe I’m seeing things, but, low and behold, she has a  _ daughter _ ! A kid, of her own!”

“Isn’t she 20 something? That would make sense,” James reasons, laughing.

“Ok, but I remember her when she was like 17, so to me that’s weird,” Sirius argues, “Anyway, her name is Nymphadora, which was definitely chosen by Andy. And you know I can’t deal with children, so it was just so weird. All she did was as questions! The whole time!”

“How old is she?”

“3, I think,” Sirius answers, “She is also a  _ metamorphmagus _ , which Andy just forgot to mention and didn’t tell me until her hair changed to orange when she was complaining to her mother. A little jarring of a conclusion, although I should have known because not many 3-year-olds have  _ purple  _ hair. She later proceeded to ask me if I could change my hair various colors, and she also asked me if I had a house, and parents, and how high I could count. So many questions, James, so many.”

James laughs again, “That’s what kids do! They ask a million questions! What about Andromeda, though, how was she?”

“She didn’t have a lot new to tell me, I talked most of the time,” Sirius shrugs, “Told her about where I was staying, a little bit about our troublemaking, and a lot, a  _ lot _ about Remus.”

“Of course you did,” James jokingly rolls his eyes, “You’ll talk about Remus to anyone who shows remote interest.”

“She asked, so I wasn’t going to deny her that,” Sirius smiles, “She listened the whole time though. God, I missed her. She made me promise to write to her often, so hopefully, I’ll see her again before summer is out.”

“ _ And _ the kid?” James teases

“If she brings Nymphadora again I swear,” Sirius laughs, “She’s fun and cute but  _ God _ I’m horrible with kids. We were walking around the street the restaurant was on and Andy made me hold her. I’ve never been asked so many useless things in my life.”

“You’re really going to love when we have my whole family over next month,” James lightly kicks him, “You’re apart of the family now, so you  _ have  _ to help me babysit.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Ugh! I think you have an unfair advantage, James.” 

“Oh shut up,” James lightly kicks him again before looking over to the package on the table, “Are you going to open that?”

Sirius looks back at it for a moment before grabbing it, “I don’t see why not. She said there’s a note in there explaining it.”

“Explaining it? It needs explaining?” James questions. 

Sirius just shrugs, pulling apart the packaging to reveal a closed brown box. He opens the box and pulls out the note, reading it out loud.

“I have a huge album of pictures I stole before I left, I thought I’d share the wealth and give you some. Hang them up, or burn them, I don’t care. Remember to write! Your favorite, Andy,” He reads, smiling.

“Pictures?” James immediately goes to look in the box.

“Hey hey hey, it’s  _ my  _ cousin,” Sirius swats his hand away, picking up the small stack of tied pictures from the box, setting the box they were in and Andromeda’s note off to the side. 

Sirius turns over the stack so the first one is facing up and unties it, taking the first photo off to examine. It’s of him, Regulus, and all three of his cousins at some sort of family function, based on how they were dressed. They’re kind of smiling, all of them but Regulus of course. They’re standing in age order, Sirius’ arm around a small Regulus beside him. Although, the picture couldn’t have been more than 6 or 7 years ago because Bellatrix looks just graduated.

“How old is that?” James asks, and Sirius flips over the picture to look for a date.

“December 31st, 1970. My Lord, I was 11 here?” He turns it back over, “And Reg was 9, wow we were small.”

“I think Narcissa next to you is just wearing heels,” James points out.

“Ok shut up,” Sirius laughs before setting that one off to the side. He grabs the next one, which is unmistakably  _ not  _ taken when his parents or his Uncle were there because they’re all smiling to some degree. They’re out on the grounds of his Aunt and Uncle’s estate, he recognizes the garden. They’re sitting on two benches, Andromeda and Bellatrix on one, and Narcissa and Sirius with Regulus squished between them on the other. Sirius doesn’t look too much different from the last picture, but Regulus looks much smaller. 

He flips it over, “June 29th, 1967. School had to have just ended.”

“Where are you?” James asks. 

“My Aunt and Uncle’s estate, considering that we’re happy my Aunt Druella must have taken it. She was the nicest person in the family, but that wasn’t a hard thing to achieve.”

He sets that one off to the side and picks up the next one, which is taken  _ much  _ earlier. He couldn’t have been older than 5, and Regulus had to have been 2 or 3. Bellatrix wasn’t there, likely at school. They’re all sitting on the ground, Regulus on top of Andromeda’s shoulders with his arms up, smiling happily while Narcissa and Sirius look on and laugh. 

“Aw, that’s so cute,” James coos, “I’ve never seen, like, baby pictures of you, Sirius. Sometimes I forget you didn’t just spawn.”

“Spawn?” Sirius laughs, “You think I spawned?” 

“How old are you in this?” James changes the topic and looks at the back of the picture, “May 18th, 1964.”

“I was 4, Reg was 2,” Sirius answers for him.

“Next one next one,” James encourages.

Sirius sets the picture off to the side and rolls his eyes, “You’re like a needy child.”

James just laughs, looking on as Sirius picks up the next one. Sirius recognizes it immediately, cupping a hand over his mouth. It’s the one from Andromeda’s birthday in early July of 1971, the last time he had seen her. They had been home alone for a week with just one another, and all of them looked impossibly happy. He remembers that week  _ so  _ vividly. 

“Holy shit,” He whispers, turning it over and seeing his name in the top corner “She has my copy? Why?”

“What’s important about it?” James asks, taking it to look at it closer. 

Sirius involuntarily beams at the memory, “That was taken on Andromeda’s birthday, and I remember Bella had watched us all week because our parents practically abandoned us, although Bella is the ruler of chaos so it was just lawless. Andy had us take that, and we took 5 of the same picture. One for each of us, but I lost mine pretty much immediately. I had no fucking idea  _ she  _ had it, I’ve been looking for that for years and  _ she  _ took it.”

“Your family is insane,” James hands it back, “You should put it somewhere you can see it, look a little more moved in maybe?”

“You’re so mean,” Sirius looks over to the mirror hanging on the wall next to his bed, which has a couple of other pictures in it already. He gets up and tucks that one into the top corner, across from the photo of him and James’ huge family last winter. He stares at it a moment, smiling. His two families, next to one another. Perfect.

So he’ll never forget he is loved, always.

***

“Regulus! Narcissa is here to see you!” His mother yells up the stairs, much to Regulus’ surprise. Why on Earth would Narcissa need to see him?

He walks out of the room and down the stairs, seeing her idly chatting with his mother near the door. He catches her eye and she looks over and smiles.

“Hello Regulus,” She greets, looking to his mother, “Is it alright if I chat with him upstairs, Auntie?” 

His mother stares at Narcissa a moment, clearly skeptical. “Fine, but you better not be doing anything I wouldn’t approve of.”

“Of course not,” Narcissa calmly answers, “Just getting out of your hair. Come on, Regulus.” Narcissa gestures up the stairs, which he goes right back up. She follows after him, and when he stops at the top of the stairs to wait for direction she places a hand on his back and guides the two of them into his room.

“Sit,” She says, pointing to his bed, then turning around and casting a silencing charm on the door. He listens and takes a seat, and she sits in his desk chair across from him, “You will speak not a word of this, understood?”

“Yes,” He nods, not even knowing what this is about. Although, he has a feeling. 

“Good,” She pulls something out of her pocket and hands it to him, “I got this from your brother almost a week ago. Thought maybe you’d want to know.”

He doesn’t think he wants to know at all, but he doesn’t say no. He simply opens it and reads through the sloppily written letter. 

_ Narcissa, _

_ I understand if you just throw this out, not wanting anything to do with me and whatever I’ve done, but please don’t do that. I just need your honest assessment, and I know you’ll give it to me. _

_ When I left, Regulus was really upset, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. I’m sure, at this point, you’ve already seen him, and I just want to know how he’s doing. I know sending a letter home, especially at the moment, probably isn’t good, so you’re my next best option.  _

_ I’m living at the Potters, alive, safe, and fed, in case you or anyone else is wondering. I feel horrible about everything that happened, and I just wish both you and Regulus the best. When you see him next, if he doesn’t hate my guts, please pass on that I hope he’s doing well, and that I miss him a lot. Also, tell him the password to the box in the closet is 1003, he’ll know what it means. _

_ Thank you so much, Cissy, you have no idea. _

_ Sirius _

“I’m guessing you know what that means?” Narcissa says.

“I do,” Regulus nods, grabbing a piece of paper off of his desk and a quill, scribbling the numbers, “I’ll look later. Thank you, Narcissa.”

“Of course, just passing the message along,” She gets up and uncharms the door, opening it before looking back, “Always remember to write me if you need anything.”

Regulus just nods and she shuts the door, and he listens until he’s sure she’s gone back downstairs. He slips quietly out of his room and goes into Sirius’ next door, which is luckily lit by the sunlight outside. He goes into the tall closet in the corner, quickly opening it and taking out a small box on the floor. The box Sirius told him he would only get the password to when Sirius graduated. Guess moving out works too.

He takes it back to his own room, setting it on the desk and just staring at it a moment. He  _ hates  _ Sirius, he doesn’t want anything to do with him. But he needs to know what’s in here. 

He punches in the code on the muggle lock Sirius would never let him charm open. It clicks open, and Regulus delicately lifts the lid. Inside is only one thing: A ring. 

It’s two intertwined golden vines, the two ends going in different directions. One goes up, the other goes down. It’s not terribly intricate, just the two twisting stems and some leaves. He turns it around in his hand, noticing two small engravings, somehow fitting on the small ring. On the ascending vine is ‘Memento Mori’, Regulus’ favorite saying. On the descending one is ‘Memento Vivere’, which was always Sirius’. 

Regulus just stares at it a moment. Where did Sirius even  _ get _ this? It’s beautiful, Regulus won’t even deny it. It’s a level of complex planning that he didn’t think Sirius was even capable of. 

He holds his hand out and examines the size of the ring in comparison, which perfectly fits onto his pinky. He just looks at it a moment, every feeling of  _ absolute hatred  _ for his  _ disgusting _ brother fighting to convince him he doesn’t like it. That it’s from someone who he can’t stand.

But he loves it. It’s perfect, and he can’t take it off. It’s a small gesture, but a meaningful one. It’s a reminder. 

So he’ll never forget he was loved, once. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's a wrap!
> 
> this whole fic is a little messy, but i liked writing it so it's going out into the world! justice for regulus he deserves so much better 


End file.
